Oh what a night!

Alright, sorry our posts are so few and far between (some of us don't have the luxury of hostel wireless). The Internet in the time machine is really spotty. Anyway Christine and I had an awesome first weekend. We spent only one night in the hotel because we ran out of money. So we camped out under the Romanian stars; we even managed to get a fire going (thanks to Christine's outdoor 'skills'. Apparently when you get below an 80% on the Man v Wild survival quiz it recommends you bring lighter fluid and matches on camping trips. At least I convinced her to keep the shotgun at home).
So after I convinced Christine we WOULD be able to find a place to eat in 1450 Romania on Memorial Day, we traded a few hours work for some breakfast (didn't know what we were eating, didn't ask. Told Sturges it was corn beef hash) and asked where we could find Dracula's castle. Turns out it's not hard to find. I mean how many ominous, dark cliffs with constant thunder and lightening storms could there be in one medieval town?

We decided not to take the horse and buggy service up to the castle (side note: how'd that crazy old guy driving know to come pick us up? That's one hell of a door service...) and drove the Delorean to just outside the main gate. The learning started right away! Example: before I could even knock on the castle door it opened automatically. What was I to deduce from this? Transylvania was the sight of the first automatic door. Awesome huh? Anyway Sturges and I walked a ways into the castle before we were greeted by an old guy with one of those crazy hair-does that look like a caved in pompadour, powder stage make up and a really kick ass cape. He invited us for dinner (PS he spoke English really GOOD. Only something's strange about his accent; almost like he speaks broken English with a fake Italian accent ((this is a Bela Lugosi joke. If you don't get it...that's alright I guess)) ) which consisted of bread, rare stake and wine. The wine was, according to our host, a Transylvanian speciality. It was a thick red, fully bodied, a bit salty. It made me really sleepy.

After dinner we were both so tired so our host (no name as of this writing) showed us to our rooms. We were in different rooms, different parts of the castle actually, due to what I imagine is our host's strong Protestant sensibilities (I would have thought Catholic but there weren't any crucifixes). Anyhow this is the best part. Amanda...maybe you should flip over to the Fox network. I bet that Glee guy you like (and liked even before he was on TV, right) is on there some place.  I wasn't even going to say anything about this on here but Christine said I should for, you know, historical record. Alright so I was sleeping really hard right but all of a sudden I get this feeling like I'm being hoovered over by some really gorgeous women in revealing billowy night gowns. I opened my eyes, I thought, and, I'll be damned if that's not exactly what was going on! There were at least 5 women floating above my bed. It's hard to say what they were doing; they were kind of kissing but not really. It was like they were suggesting they were kissing but they couldn't because that would bump the PG-13 rating for an R. In any case it was awesome! So I *ahem* sat up in bed. My first instinct was to ask them who they were but I didn't want to start talking...and not just because I'm a jerk who never wants to talk either! I just didn't want them to stop doing whatever it was that they were doing. So some other things happened but this is a family blog and as soon as it had begun it was over. I woke feeling really refreshed. So we've been staying here for a week and that's pretty much how it goes everyday. We do some work around the castle for the old guy we call Pompadour or Pomp for short but so far no Dracula. Man, I really thought I'd recognize him too. We're trying to find time to explore the castle.

PS I'm beginning to think Sturges is a little confused. For instance we spent three hours last Thursday walking around town. I thought we were taking in the local flavors; discovering the past, souvenir hunting. All the time Christine's looking for an ATM and a WI-FI cafe! Also, she keep saying Transylvanian...I don't think she knows what country we're in. Pray for me...

Men don't ask directions OR read manuals?!

So the only thing I asked McCoy to do was pick out a time machine...what did he show up with? A crappy American car made by a company whose owner had to smuggle illicit drugs to try and save it. The GD thing has WINGS McCoy. GOOD CALL! Also, it's 88MPH you jerk. The one thing I asked him to do was watch the effin movie. So we spent a few days in the hospital after we, excuse me McCoy, flipped the Delorean as we drove off the road because apparently we only needed to reach 85MPH...why not just read the instruction manual? The ONE thing I asked McCoy to do.

Anyway, we reached Transylvania a few hours ago and immediately looked for a place to stay (not sure why McCoy assumed they wouldn't have hotels in 15th century Transylvania...I am not sleeping in that damn car). We pushed the Delorean behind a billboard and covered it with some sticks and grass (that should be enough to hide it right?) and walked along the streets of the city trying to find a place to stay. We came across a cozy little place called whatever "hotel" is in Transylvanian. McCoy inquired about vacancies, their neon sign must have been out. I told him to ask about continental breakfast and internet capabilities; he found that amusing for some reason. He's so weird. Whatever; he got us a room...oh did I mention he speaks fluent Transylvanian? The room doesn't seem to have wireless and all the coffee shops are closed (not a single Starbucks...good for them!) so I'm writing from the Delorean; good thing I packed my car-cigarette-lighter-jack.

I'm gonna hit the hay, or "hit the hay" as they say here, only in their language. Tomorrow it's off to search for the castle.

PS McCoy is working on pictures...right McCoy?

Our Preferred Mode of Transportation

While other travelers to eastern Europe use the pedestrian modes of transportation found on websites like Kayak, Expedia, Cheaptickets, and/or Travelocity, our trip to 15th centuryTransylvania called for something a bit more specialized. After a ridiculous amount of time spent researching our options on Craigslist and Purplewave, we narrowed our choices to the following...

My personal choice was the PaddleBoat300-0 BC. I especially liked the advertising literature:



Although it was the cheapest option, we felt that we may never get to the 1400's before the summer was over. They only guaranteed accuracy to 1800's. (Please don't bother making a comment talking about, "It is a time machine, you could go anywhere you want." Needless to say we are heroes that understand time travel and you are not. You don't have the patience or the mental capacity to understand what we are dealing with.)

Our second option, Christine's favorite, was the TimeSled.


Maybe it is her Norwegian or Coloradoan background. I couldn't handle it though and it is obviously not a two-seater. It may have been a scarring event that happened with a Santa at the local Dillons and a tube of toothpaste, but I won't go into it.

We were, however, lucky enough to find something we could both agree on. Made the year I was born, reminders of run-ins with manure trucks, and finally the best doors anyone could ever dream of. May I also add, there are two seats, cup holders, and newly added GPS system.

Before launch the Delorean had to be packed. Because we were never able to reach Vlad via Ouija board to reserve a room in his castle, our time machine will double as a kind of early 80s RV. For the next month or so Sturges and I will live out of the time machine; we will sleep in her bucket seats, wash in her vanity mirrors and live off the dew we collect from the condensation left on her aerodynamic hood in the mornings (and some people think hostels are bohemian, HA! Oh, and Sturge says that's what she said). I left Christine in charge of the backpacks; the Delorean was my job. I shoved some toiletries into the seat pockets and threw some pillows and sleeping bags into the trunk...more spacious than you might think...struggled with the flux capacitor and set the thingy that looks like a digital clock to 1450 and prayed for enough runway to reach 85MPH and that I had remembered the movie right.

To Capture the Castle! And try not to get thrown off...

Whelp, we're on our way. Our destination: 15th century Romania and a little place called Transylvania. Our goal: discover the 'real' Dracula, (he can't be that bad, right?) In our backpacks; the essentials and everything we learned from years of vampire movies and Ann Rice novels, (or two and a half viewings of Interview With the Vampire. I can't be bothered to read...I'm not a LOSER!):
1) Stakes for killing Dracula just in case he is that   bad
2) Garlic for warding off Dracula
3) Garlic for bland foreign food
4) crucifix, (thanks to Ryan's Catholic upbringing!)
5) Holy Water, (again Thanks to Ryan's Catholic upbringing)
6) An abridged version of Bram Stoker's Dracula on tape
7) Coppola's '92 film Dracula, (I don't read remember?)
8) Portable DVD player and one of those strange European plug-in converters
9) Laptop for por...er posting to this blog
10) Room for souvenirs!!
Note: No food or drink will be necessary as I have taken the Bear Grylls' Man v Wild quiz and received a 75% and will act as our historian and survivalist.
Here we go; off to discover the truth. We will stop at nothing. We will face hardship and tribulation. We will face danger. Don't worry about us though; we have each other. We have our hours of preparation and experience. We have cell phones and credit cards. Just remember one thing, many of you will call us heroes and I believe I speak for Ryan and myself when I say...we are.